depth first search » blogging http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog “We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done." Sun, 25 Jul 2010 13:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Again with Feeling http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog/2007/07/05/again-with-feeling/ http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog/2007/07/05/again-with-feeling/#comments Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:37:19 +0000 JS http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/?p=292 In the tradition of meta-posting, I’ll take the opportunity to announce that my efforts to transform this activity into something “academic” have failed. Introspection has revealed that:

  1. I am not yet knowledgeable enough to contribute ideas that are both interesting and accessible.
  2. I’m actually more self-conscious about how silly blogging is when I’m trying to explicate on the importance of various theoretical ideas than I am when I’m just journaling.

How does it go in the Watchmen, that self-conscious analysis of the bizarre decision to don tights and a mask and go fight crime? To journal is a natural narrative art, but to put it on the internet, to expose it to the harsh criticism of unfeeling spam bots (denzians [sic] of level 4 dark – worse than mosquitoes and alleyways of ghosts), is akin to a crutch nearly sawn in half, ready for that final cataclysmic split at any moment.

For a long time now I’ve lost the ability to journal, offline or on, and the corresponding ability to introspect (and consequently appreciate) the day to day process of living. My recent memory is dominated by a relentless desire to get there, a goal whose ephemeral shifting shape forms the proper lie to fit each moment, making me appreciate not where I am or where I am going, but how fucking far away everything seems.

It is a self imposed loneliness, where success is just the end of some timelike path. Only now, writing this, do I realize that all endings are lies, and that my chronic aversion to plans, to events, is merely a symptom of subconscious understanding.

]]> http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog/2007/07/05/again-with-feeling/feed/ 0 Idle Mind http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog/2007/03/18/264/ http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/blog/2007/03/18/264/#comments Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:08:29 +0000 JS http://www.depthfirstsearch.net/?p=264 I have a distinct audience problem. I started blogging in the Summer of 2000 because, to be honest, I was bored. In the following six years I’ve tried several blogging services, offloaded and deleted my online blog twice (to protect the guilty), and made various attempts at thematic discourse including vain attempts at punditry, general science, and social commentary. Right now, the people primarily interested in what I post seem to be comment spammers.

I’m not surprised. When last week’s posting highlight was to cite comments on Metafilter regarding turtle porn, I’ve clearly come to a place where the value of this effort is a net negative for society. I’m serving no greater purpose than as a honeypot for botnets.

I have been slowly working through Ulysses by James Joyce. I just recently came across my favorite Joycean quote:

A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.

I’ve only just discovered the Stephen Daedalus uttered this comment in response to John Eglinton.

The world believes Shakespeare made a mistake and got out of it as quickly and as best as he could.

I’m no Shakespeare, perhaps because I’ve not gotten out as quickly as I should have.

Now for some frivolity.

What I’m Watching:
1. House, MD
2. Battlestar Galactica
3. Heroes
4. Veronica Mars

What I’m Listening To:
1. Arcade Fire
2. Cold War Kids

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